I had lunch today with a new friend. I have recently met her, and instantly felt a warmth which comes from a friendly and welcoming smile. In a home far away from home, I have smiled at many, made many half friends, some good acquaintances too, but no good friends. Friendship was always synonymous with the names of some of those buddies who seem to have gotten misplaced on the way. For a long time, it felt almost wrong, like some sort of a betrayal to seek out others to fill their spaces.
We have started out slow. Its a new experience, talking to someone who you know is still figuring you out. I find myself talking and simultaneously distancing myself from the conversation, observing it as a third person. Someone once said to me that the most important thing you invest in a person is your time. Am I doing a good job of it? There is just too much pressure to get it right, and if not, to know that it is not right.
It was much easier when we were children, perhaps because we didn't think as much back then. Maybe thats why I decided to stop thinking and start living. And we chatted about old TV serials, card games and the books we are reading and the movies we want to see. And we cleaned the table after lunch, played with her baby and discussed holidays. The moment I stopped thinking, I started liking what I saw before me. That old, friendly, comfortable feeling of being accepted for what you are.
I got back home with a smile, drank a whole bottle of water, and called my oldest friend.
1 comment:
Wow, you've put it so beautifully!
Its something I've thought about a lot in the past few years. I wish I could find out what it is that changes with the years, perhaps it is about thinking too much, perhaps we've learnt far too much along the way, and we just need to unlearn some things.
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