One day at a time

It is often said that the arrival of a newborn changes families completely and forever - for better or for worse. I never really understood the significance of this thought, till now.

Everything and everyone has changed. Husband, parents, brother and friends,`preoccupations, joys and fears - everything about life is now different. Most of the changes are positive, not being able to browse through bookshelves because baby is screaming his lungs out in the buggy is one of the few negatives, easily overlooked.

Another bit of advice that everyone from the ante-natal class organisers to parents to well-wishing friends and acquaintances gave was to take one day at a time. I never quite understood this one. I never really got why one would need or want to do that. Now everyday that is successfully managed without accident or incident is celebrated - with broken sleep, but sleep all the same. It is more precious than gold these days.

So taking one day at a time, I am embarking upon the pursuit of normalcy. The definition of normalcy also has had to be altered. Normal is not how it used to be, normal will now be the best, or even half decent, that it can be now. An afternoon walk by the river, accomplished with little to no crying, is a noteworthy achievement - the day can be labelled a huge success.

To more such days, of sunshine, warmth, cheerful companions, happy babies and pure contentment.

Sleep

I love sleeping. Have always loved it. Have always needed a little more of it than my family and friends around. Have always felt incapable of functioning normally without adequate amounts of it. Have no idea how people survive with little or none of it.

I miss my sleep sorely.

Despite great help from A in managing night feeds for N, I crave for the time when sleep was undisturbed and not such a rarity, a luxury that must now be stolen or snatched in tiny bits here and there. What would I now give for those lazy Sunday mornings, drenched in sleepy semi-thoughts, warmed by the gentle sun streaming in through the blinds!

And yet, somehow, it all seems alright. One person in the house is sleeping well and just looking at his contented, peaceful sleep is a surprising reward. Sometimes, exhausted at the end of the day, A and I just sit and look at him sleeping. It is an amazing, humbling feeling. And when he smiles in his sleep, all grudges are forgiven!

Life part 2 - parenthood

He is finally here - and our lives have changed forever. Just before midnight on the 23rd of February, A and I left the hospital with the precious cargo - our little one then just over 24 hours old. We were very silent as we walked to the car park - this couldn't possibly be happening to us - it was the lull before the storm that a newborn brings into one's life. And no books or parenting classes on earth can prepare you for what comes next.

I don't have the benefit of hindsight at the moment. Being very much in the thick of things still, I am continuously battling the mischivious hormones, laughing and crying without warning. I am still too close to the events to think straight about labour, breastfeeding, nappy changes and sleepless nights. For the moment, life is an unending saga of the feeding-burping-nappy changing-feeding circle. I am told it gets better and I am patiently waiting.
To be honest, this wait isn't bad at all. I have a little companion, a son, to make some sweet and sour memories with. If the last three weeks are anything to go by, we're not going to have a dull moment! Little N and I are in the process of learning to understand each other - and while we don't always get it right, we still love the journey!

A nation of readers

I appear to be hooked on to the iPlayer! And I have literally just finished watching this brilliant documentary called 'How reading made us modern'. Fantastic stuff about the history of reading, how an entire nation fell in love with the written word. From the time that a licence was required to publish books, to the perceived threat to women's morality from reading, from the norm of reading aloud around the fire to the cafe culture of book clubs, this film has it all. If you are a book lover you just cannot afford to miss this one. It is on the iPlayer till 18 February 2009 so hurry!

Discoveries

Some good ones have been made recently. Found a lovely shade of not-quite-pink, not-quite-purple wool, got the paperback version of Rushdie's The Enchantress of Florence, and stumbled upon the BBC iPlayer. Life has definitely changed for the better!

As I surfed about the iPlayer, this is what I came across. Why reading matters, a documentary on how reading shapes the human brain, what it does to us when we engage with the written word and why it is important not to lose the skill, possibly to other interactive media such as video games. The programme focussed on the creation of empathy in the mind of the reader (Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights), the sparks of genius encountered in Shakespeare's writing and the inter-connectedness that reading, an aquired skill, builds in the human brain. Very interesting insights indeed, but there is so much more to reading that I'm afraid an hour long documentary just couldn't do justice to the activity. What about the cultural learning, the escaping into a different world, the toying with language and the sheer process of discovery? And the many other brilliantly subtle and blatantly obvious things that reading does to us. Sure reading matters, but why it does is something that each person discovers for herself, in the same way as experiences shape life. Or perhaps I just love reading too much to want it to be reduced to bullet point justifications, fighting for survival against gaming and television.

Especially for you…

Dear D! The one who is smitten by the Enchanted Wood and the Faraway Tree. The one who is charmed by tea and cakes and gentle railway journeys by the English countryside.

My dear friend settled in the sunny locales of the land down under, this chocolate truffle cake was baked especially for you, to entice you to the dreary, chilly, wet, quintessentially English weather of my country of residence!

As you said, it is rainy and cold outside, but my house is warm and smells of chocolate. And I saw a very interesting documentary this afternoon called Iran and the West while knitting pieces of the blanket. A very satisfying day indeed, I really couldn’t ask for more :-)

What does one do...

...during maternity leave? Not knowing what the done thing is, the major preoccupation at this end has been one of trying to mentally prepare self for big change. And it seems change is around everywhere.

Almost everyone I know is going through some biggish change is life, work or home related. The one that got me thinking was the big one T is getting into - marriage. For obvious reasons, chatting with her about her upcoming wedding reminds me of mine, and the changes that brought. For quite a while, I wondered if I could have better prepared myself for it. I no longer think that way. As I await yet another momumental change in life, I can't but help wonder, is it at all possible to prepare for change?

It is easy to buy baby clothes, feeding bottles, prams and cots. It takes time to develop a bond with the baby, understand her/him and treat one as an individual, not just an extension of yourself. Just as it is easy to buy new clothes, make-up, furniture and curtains before the wedding - but it is another ball game altogether to live with someone under one roof, day in and day out, understanding why they behave the way they do and arriving at a discussion pattern that might be a little less your style but much better suited to the new dynamic relationship called wife & husband. Can one ever prepare for this?

Meanwhile, women continue to be beaten for going into pubs in India, little girls continue to be harassed by policemen, Barack Obama continues to try to change the gloomy economic situation in the US and snow continues to fall over most of England, Wales and Scotland. And I have decided that before my parents arrive here (in 4 days time) I must finish knitting the baby blanket that I started making in August - there, now that I have said it, I have to finish it in time. Time to get a-knitting... Lets start with a slice of banana cake :-)