Of trust, and the like

What is trust? Do we really know at all? When we were younger, in the comforting days of life in school, we played a game.It was called the trust-game. You had to close your eyes and face your friend. Then, with your eyes closed, you had to fall into her arms. Easy.

Not quite it seems. The trouble is the mind. It won't let you let yourself fall. It takes a lot of trust in the other person to be able to fall into her arms, with the confidence that she will hold you and not let you fall.

Now let us imagine, you have worked hard with a friend on this game. And you have brought yourself to let yourself go. Slowly and gently you have built your trust in her, to the extent that you know that you can safely leave yourself in her hands.

And then, one regular day, in a fairly normal session of the trust-game, she backs off. You fall flat on your face. Both body and pride are bruised extensively, pride more than anything else. What do you do? How will you react? What's the status of your trust?

Once the shock of the event and the bodily pain have gone, how do you deal with the injured sense of self? You ask your friend why she did what she did. She had her reasons - you had wronged her, in her opinion, the day before and so she decided to hurt you. When you explain to her your point, she apologizes and promises never to break your trust again. All is well in paradise and she is keen to resume the trust-game.

What do you do? No, seriously, what do you do?

I have been away, mostly battling medical issues and thwarting life's cruel plans to make things more and more difficult. Can't say I've had much success, but hey, I'm alive still. And N gives me a few reasons to smile everyday. He is now saying 'Mamma' and melting my heart constantly. The one silver lining to what seems like a thunderous jet black cloud ready to explode without warning.

Actually, make that one of two. Couldn't have survived the last few weeks without this brilliant man.