Nature vs nurture

I am fighting for some sleep these days. I was told it gets better but to me it's looking worse. N is the most amazing, interactive, happy, demanding of attention baby during the day. Then comes the bedtime routine which he allows us to indulge in fairly happily. But after that, all hell breaks loose.

The boy gets up practically every hour. Will not go back to sleep unless pacified by gentle rocking and breastfeeding. A strange fear begins to build up inside of me as evening approaches. I dread the continuous breakage of sleep, the nagging, dull pain in my head and the overwhelming desire to cry.

So I have been looking around for solutions. There is not one book on baby sleep training that I have not read. There is not one method that I have not followed, although I must admit that I cannot bring myself to wholeheartedly employ the cry-it-out method. Every time I have tried it, I have ended up in tears myself.

Since solutions have left me no better off, I am now looking for solace. And this is where I found it. But more interestingly, the comments left me thinking - it looks like parents of boys generally have a tougher time than those of girls trying to settle, calm down and put their little ones to sleep. Is it a sex thing after all, that no amount of careful and considered nurturing can change?

I write this with a big disclaimer upfront - I am not trying to make any generalised statements, only expressing what I am seeing in my small world.

My mums' group comprises of 6 mums and their gorgeous babies. Three of us have boys and the other three mummies have little girls. All the three boys are frisky, more interested in dashing around from place to place, demanding constant attention and refusing to pacify themselves. All three learnt to crawl first and sitting later, practised only as a necessary means to change positions. The girls on the other hand learnt to sit first and some of them haven't learnt crawling yet - they are happy to sit and observe the world, play with whatever object they have in their hands and explore from far.

The mums with boys are stressed, sleepless and constantly found taking brisk walks by the river in their pajamas in an attempt to lull the brats into slumber.

The mums with girls are well dressed, hair and nails properly done, shopping happily with the little angels cheerfully looking on.

When we all meet once a week, the difference is stark. Could it be that we are after all at the mercy of nature, hopeless mothers-of-sons trying against all odds to achieve the unachievable - that is putting the monkeys to sleep without a fight and getting them to stay there peacefully through the night?