Must say just this

I have been horribly busy juggling work, ante-natal classes, the sense of urgency that arrives with the beginning of the third trimester and a back that is incapable of supporting the increasing weight of the bump. And I am sure that everyone else is occupied with their hectic schedules of life, dropping kids to nurseries and schools, handling irate bosses, dealing with the financial crisis that has hit absolutely everyone, and just keeping life on track. We have no time to stand and stare, to worry about politics, religion, ethnicity and the like - we are too busy dealing with life.

And then this happens.

By this I mean what is happening in Mumbai. And what has happened before in Delhi, London, New York, Madrid, Karachi and so many other cities around the world. And when this happens, you stop in your tracks, and wonder, WHY?

What on earth is going on in their minds that prompts them to do this? What gives them the conviction that they can wage 'war' on innocent people, who are busy minding their business? Is this the new form of warfare, where anything and everything goes, where each one fends for herself/himself, where parents leave for work every morning not knowing if they will come back home to see their children?

We have become an insensitive, hardened mass of people. Every time something like this happens, we talk about it for a few days, and then get on with life. When it happens in a country far away from us, we dismiss it as the 'usual' stuff that happens in 'that part of the world'. We don't care - not really.

The one thing that has come out more than anything else for me from this episode of unimaginable tragedy is that human beings are a selfish, parochial lot. We try very hard to convince ourselves and those around us that we are 'civilised' and 'world citizens', but deep inside, we care only about ourselves. Not just those who are unleashing this terror - they are obviously doing it because they care only for themselves and their beliefs - but each one of us, because we just couldn't be bothered enough, since it is happening to someone else.

We are happy that we can still continue to discuss the weather.

And the financial crisis.

And the irate boss.

Not to forget, the ante-natal class.

Me is...

falling in love with petit filous

guzzling clementines by the dozen

dreaming of daal makhni

very tired, and very excited

unable to focus on inedible stuff

perpetually running to the loo

imagining patterns in stretch marks

supposed to have glowing skin and hair

wishing I could see glowing skin and hair

pampered a lot by loving hubby

looking forward to the mat leave

wobbly and walking like a duck

completely off balance in the underground

very nervous about the birth

very excited about the birth

again thinking of something to eat

bending over dangerously to see my feet

Paris

Few other places in the world are visited with such great expectations. Literature, cinema and popular imagination have built Paris up as a city out of this world - the spatial equivalent of art and refinement. Did it live up to our expectations? Lets say, we went with our eyes open, with minimum baggage of expectations, and quite liked what we saw.


A and I had a restful week in Paris. We decided to be non-touristy tourists. We didn't go mad trying to cross sites off our list of things to see, and enjoyed each day as it came, selecting what we wanted to do based on what we felt like doing. And we enjoyed ourselves to bits.

Outside and inside

Outside

Inside

A day of surprises!

The shrill sound of the phone. Darkness. Warm, soft quilt. That phone again. As A jumped up to grab the receiver, (we are always nervous about early morning calls, as I am sure everyone else is) mother dear blurted out a whole list of questions and instructions on the other end. Nothing surprising there. Oh sod it, I went back to sleep without even bothering to ask what the fuss was about.

Thirty minutes later, (or was it over two hours?) my mobile rang. Private number calling. I toyed with the idea of cutting the sound and resuming the sleep. Something made me answer it. And I am so glad I did. That call brought the wonderful news of my friend's wedding. Perfect beginning to a long-awaited day. The most delightful surprise I could have expected on the phone I'd say!

A said that 31st October 2008 has come by pretty quickly. I disagree. I have waited for this day every single minute of the last two months. To see the baby again. I have imagined this day and pictured it several times in all kinds of different ways. I am prepared for everything that I see on the screen.

Am I? Was I? Were we prepared for what we saw? The baby is well, kicking about and playing. We were the shocked parents-to-be. This thing is for real. For REAL. This baby is coming sometime soon to live with us, mould us, challenge us and get moulded in return. Nothing of the kind that happens in movies happened with us. We neither held hands not looked lovingly at each other. We left the hospital in silence and headed straight to the coffee shop. There we sat, very excited, very nervous, very very surprised. And very very happy. And by the time the coffee disappeared, we were smiling uncontrollably!

There is something about weddings and births that touches something inside of you. I think it is the fact that they are both, in their own ways, affirmations of life, and of love. 31st October 2008 will always then be the most surprising day, lovingly experienced.