S and I caught up over a good old chat session after what seemed like ages. And we went straight for the issue that was most bothering the both of us - why is everyone lugging for our throats to have babies?
So we are both 29 somethings, dangerously close to the big three-o. Happily married, happily 'careered', happily settled - looks like thats not enough. I am in London and she is in Delhi but our problem is the same - everyone wants us to have babies and people have stopped mincing their words.
After a massive bitching and getting-it-out-of-ourselves session, we came to the conclusion that we both want children too, just not as a result of the pressure. And there is no way of knowing if we want the babies because we want them or because there is so much social pressure to tow the line. Plus the fact that we seem to have lost all our friends to the baby-brigade. What are we poor women to do?
That was where it ended with S. Meanwhile, this weekend, A and I decided to brave it and go see a friend's new born baby girl. We were all prepared to see our friends completely transformed into 'I couldn't care less about you, I have a baby now' strangers. As it turned out, no such thing happened and our decision to risk such a rendez-vous over Saturday night proved to be a good one. Mercifully, this was the first couple we met lately who appeared to have things in something close to a perspective. They are delighted and doting parents, no doubt, but they are also themselves, which is so refreshing to see.
And baby girl N is an absolute darling. She doesn't cry much, and is constantly smiling at pooh and tiger hanging from her mobile. Occasionally she will grace you with a look of pure love - oh that look is definitely to die for. When I saw K, a successful career woman, singing songs in Malayalam that I don't understand but still adore, I knew that it was pure love. S, a high-flying investment banker, was transformed into an indulging, loving father whose sole aim in life was to feed his daughter. It was over the course of the evening that I realised why we yearn so much for children, why it is said that life may well be good but it can only become better and richer with children in it. And that is perhaps why, I am truly looking forward to having some of my own some day.
1 comment:
perhaps you're lucky in realising that at least you want them for yourselves.
For some of us, its a sinking feeling to realise, that even after having met friends babies and adored their "to die for" looks, even after wanting to go and see them over and over again, and go all "how schweet" over them, we still don't like the idea of having some of our own.
And then it will just be an eternal - "oh you don't have kids??" question, just as soon as the "oh you're not married" question stops getting asked.
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